Friday, April 11, 2008

Getting to know our new baby boy

June had come. My due date was June 28th, but I decided to have a pre-planned C-Section, so that We knew he would be born in Toronto at Mount Sinai, so he could be transfered to Sick Kids. My daughter was born emergency C-Section anyways. The C-Section was scheduled for June 16th. But at the last minute sick kids had an emergency cardiac baby come in, so there were no beds for Dominic.

Mommy's Journal - June 18th

You arrived to our world yesterday at 3:01pm. You are such a beautiful little boy. Seeing you made Mommy cry. You were out, you looked good and you were screeming. I just kept listening for your cry as the doctors fixed me up. As long as you were crying I knew you must be alright. Just before the doctors took me into the room to have you, I told your Daddy that I had never been so scared in my life. I was afraid of having the surgery, but even more afraid of them cutting the cord. I loved feeling you inside me kicking away. It was always hard to believe that there could be anything wrong with you. The doctors cutting the cord meant you were on your own. I could no longer keep you alive. You now had to do you own breathing and use your own blood to circulate throughout your little body. The doctors said you were doing great though. You were breathing on your own and your blood had good mixing. All our family got to go in to see you, they all said you were so cute. The nurse shaved your hair a bit in order to try and get an I.V. in. They let your dad and I have your hair. You like to hold your Daddy's and my fingers. You have a very strong grip. Which I believe means you are strong and are going to get through your surgeries as well as possible. The nurses say you are really good, as long as you have your sucky, although you have always been happy without it when Mommy and Daddy are with you.

Mommy's Journal- June 19th

You looked very peaceful today sleeping in your crib. They had a sleeper on you today, it made you look warm and cozy. The best part about today is that I got to hold you for the first time. Daddy and I both got a chance to hold you and cuddle with you. You were so good when we visited you. You just slept the whole time. But it was so great to get the chance to cuddle. I got about 10ml of breastmilk for you this evening and that is about half of a serving for you right now, so that made me happy. The nurse mixed it with some formula and I was able to feed the bottle to you. You were quite sleepy again though. I tickeled you to try and wake you up. Daddy thought it was funny so he took a picture, and then you woke up from the flash. You gobbled down the milk really fast and burped some big burps.

Mommy's Journal - June 20th

Today was our hardest day so far, although we know tomorrow is going to be much harder. Today when Daddy and I went to see you, we were told that your surgery is going to be tomorrow. This was so scary and it hit us both really hard. Although we knew the surgery was coming soon, the word tomorrow made it too real and too close. I just feel as though we haven't had enough time with you and I don't want to hand my good looking little boy over to these doctors who are going to cut him open. Your Daddy and I placed our hands on you and prayed for our little boy and his troubled little heart. The Anestegiologist talked to us this afternoon and told us about the many risks involved in a surgery like this as well as the state you will be in after surgery. It was all so scary, your Daddy and I both could not hold back the tears any longer as we pictured our little boy in that sort of condition. The surgeon gave us the realities of a surgery like this but he made us feel a little better about the risks because they are not really likely to happen. I was hard to pay attention to the doctor as he spoke because there was a little set of dark eyes staring up at me. You have hardly really looked at me until today and all I wanted to do was sit and talk to you. You seemed as if you were paying attention to what the surgeon was explaining, as if you were preparing yourself to be tough, and telling me it would be okay. As I was telling you to be strong because I know you are and you'll do great. Lots of people will be praying for you tomorrow and I now have a strong feeling that you are going to be okay. God is watching over you, He has some sort of plan for you, it is just not something any of us was meant to know just yet. Be Strong little boy, We all love you so much and we will be waiting until the day we can bring you home. Love you forever and always Mommy

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